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How To Fight Our Resistance and Win The Battle

Important but not urgent tasks are so hard to do. Maybe it’s because they’re not sexy, shiny or on fire- 3 of my favorite motivators! We can win the battle but we are going to need more than common sense and good intentions to do it. 

This is my daughter.  She has Type 1 Diabetes. Abbey Kate battles “the I don’t wanna’s” every day. We may have different reasons for engaging in the fight,  but the truth is the same -We CAN Do It!

If I can see the flames of a missed deadline and a pissed-off boss, I will kick into action like an eager soldier. But leave me to prioritize and activate just because something is important, and I will pass over it repeatedly. Here are some of my “why’s.” Maybe a few of them will look familiar to you too.

 

It’s boring. And we want novelty. What starts as “gather tax documents for the current fiscal year” becomes “Google to find out whether or not oat milk is low fodmap.” Yes, even researching oat milk can seem urgent and stimulating when placed next to “gather tax documents.“

It seems easy. “Go to the doctor” may not sound like a big deal in and of itself. However, if, week after week, we are skipping over something on our to-do list, there may be more to it than just the “I don’t wanna’s.”

 

It causes a mini freak out. It’s funny how my body will race to protect me when it senses my dis-ease. The anxiety induced by my prioritization deficits and the fear of scarcity that says “you’re out of time” before I’ve even started  can present in my body as a threat. It responds by sending me into brain fog or excessive sleepiness. Anxiety is clever like that. Sometimes in an attempt to stay calm and carry one, we opt for a familiar “procrastitask” like planning (or planning to plan), or tidying something. Those are warning signs that flash “get curious.”  

 

It’s poorly defined. The important stuff doesn’t automatically activate my problem-solving skills or get my creative juices flowing. It’s hard for my brain to connect to details of something in the future. For most of us, our time horizon is “now” and “not now.” Therefore, if a project requires that we identify the steps and those steps in the “not now,” we may struggle to visualize them. We can’t define what we don’t see. We may need external supports to bring our future picture into focus. 

I C U

Identify issues.  Curiosity is critical. Use your strategies

I-dentify the issue

  •  Is it boring?
  •  Does it seem easy, but I’m still not doing it?
  •  Am I freaking out? 
  •  Is it poorly defined?

 C-uriosity is critical- ask yourself questions and create strategies

  •  Is this tasking kicking up some emotional issue/s for me?
  •  Do I know what I need to do first and next?
  •  Am I missing any information that would make accomplishing this task easier?
  • U- Use your strategies. You  create your best solutions!

 You won’t win the battle every time. But with curiosity, increased awareness and an arsenal full of your strongest weapons,  you will be ready for the fight and you will win much more often than you lose.

Here are some of my favorites

 1. Engineer urgency-create deadlines that don’t exist. Example: Use a timer and give yourself 10 minutes to unload/reload the dishwasher, return the email, take out the trash.

 2. Enlist accountability support-use a body double or commit to showing up for someone else. Example: invite a friend to hang out on the phone while you do a dreaded task or meet you on a video conferencing platform for coffee while you both work on something you’ve been dreading.

 3. Gamify it- find an app or a task manager that rewards you for ticking the things off your list or choose a project to tackle based on a roll of the dice or spin of the wheel. Give yourself points for what you accomplish based on how much you dread doing it. Example: 10 points if thinking about it made your palms sweat. 

I hope these suggestions help you get started. Create your own. Try a few on. See how they fit. Novelty itself is a strategy so remember, more is better!

We Can Do It! And we can share our wins along the way. Let me know what’s working for you.

Roxie Martin

Roxie Martin

I like to write. I love to connect. I am a wife, mom, and ADHD Coach. I work with private clients and facilitate ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups. I am the co-host of an upcoming Podcast called, "Wait, what was the question?” with William Curb of Hacking Your ADHD. In my spare time, I like to reinvent perfectly fine systems, create great meals, read several books in tandem, and shower-sing with the burning passion of a thousand suns.

Roxie Martin

Roxie Martin

I like to write. I love to connect. I am a wife, mom, and ADHD Coach. I work with private clients and facilitate ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups. I am the co-host of an upcoming Podcast called, "Wait, what was the question?” with William Curb of Hacking Your ADHD. In my spare time, I like to reinvent perfectly fine systems, create great meals, read several books in tandem, and shower-sing with the burning passion of a thousand suns.

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